Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Isn't It Ironic?

"Isn't it ironic?" I told her. I told myself, too.

After a brief exchange of how-have-you-been's and small talk, my conversation with my ex-girlfriend shifted to her heartbreak problems. I won't spell out the exact details (okay, I still very much protect her). It's just that, the weight and pain that she's feeling over someone was the exact same feeling I had for her, three years and bucketfuls of tears ago as we were nearing break-up. And now I obliged myself to help her over a problem that was also mine long ago - with her.

She was/is neglected, crying her heart out over someone who's been treating her like a meanwhile girl. How could she give all of her emotional strength over someone who just gives her a fraction of that? She went so far and lost a lot of things -- an awful lot of things -- in the process, to jump into a complicated situation wherein from a logical point of view, she has already sealed her fate. And right now she will have to live with that. Bungee jumping and skydiving were a cakewalk compared to this.

Believe me when I say I know the feeling of falling for someone no matter what the odds are and no matter how complicated things are. In the same way, I know the feeling of bliss when a couple is "together when they are together but are separated when they are far apart." Their relationship exists only whenever it is convenient. Getting subdued by love's power, or whatever love has, renders us immobilized and can't help it but follow everything it dictates us to do. When our hearts get gripped by someone, we bite the bullet and just get drowned in love today, then get whipped by its consequences the next day. I'm saying this because I feel her. I understand her. I've been there. I just got bonus points because of the fact that she herself was at the center of what was happening to me.

These are happening to them. These were happening to us. As I went on talking as if I know everything, I saw my three-years-ago self in her. Their situation and ours are different in their own, but I was in the same place as she is right now before, or at least I think so. Maybe that was the reason why I was compelled to help her even though (I think) she never needed it. So I told her most of the things that my friends and I said to myself back then. I told her how I slowly recovered. I told her some of the things I did to get over with it. I showed her how everything about the break-up helped and improved me as a person. All of those, I tried to squeeze in a few paragraphs, in between sips of coffee.

"Until then, you don't have the right to make yourself and your life miserable." I told her that because I already felt like I've got no better things to say. I might had made her life miserable, but for what it's worth, I didn't build her just to get neglected by someone else.

You ask us now, "Isn't it ironic?" The thing is, I don't get people.



Picture Of The Day


Magtago na tayo.

Music: Katrina and the Waves - Walking on Sunshine
Mood: disoriented
Quote: "I can't offer them a piece of my fame and bragging rights like a rock star or cocaine and a mansion like so many other men in Los Angeles. All I have is my mind, and nobody can see that." (Neil Strauss)

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